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Parents were requested to:
Please include any additional comments here that you think would be helpful for other parents who are looking for ideas on how to best educate their highly gifted children.

1. My second daughter took a university class in French her senior year and accelerated Spanish at the same time (after completing all of the classes in French available at the school). She also skipped a year - but then "unskipped", because she felt too young and too insecure. Since the schools were otherwise challenging, we feel this was a proper response to her, both academically and social/emotionally. She will enter __ University this fall at the age of 17.
2. I highly recommend membership in the Davidson Young Scholars program for all qualified persons. The single best thing parents can do to help gifted children is to throw most books about gifted children into the trash bin. Too much literature on giftedness assumes typologies of giftedness ("profoundly gifted," "artistically gifted"), or permanence of ratio IQs, or markers of giftedness that are known to be flawed (e.g., early reading), or other ideas that unwarranted by sound research. A much more fruitful path for research into improved education is international studies of high-achievement youth in other cultures.
3. Well, I guess I don't actually Homeschool him myself but I do coordinate and manage his education.
4. You know your child better than anyone and they know themselves and what they need. Trust yourself and them as you pursue educational opportunities for them. I was uncertain about letting my daughter make decisions about school etc. but I havelearned that she really does know what she needs and what will work for her.
5. Our son was grade skipped a total of 4 years and did not achieve challenge/acceptance until the final skip. He has remained at the top of his class. I should note that he has taken almost all honors/AP coursework. We highly doubt that he would have been happy/challenged with traditional coursework.
6. Connect with other parents of gifted kids to share resources and ideas and frustrations.
7. Do your research & keep advocating. The administrators at the public schools really don't have much of a clue when it comes to these students needs - especially when they are so far out of the box. They tend to treat everyone like the proverbial parents who all say their kids are quite smart until "after the fact" as the student consistently performs/"proves" their giftedness w/out of the norm consistently hi class grades, standardized test scores, & some kind of performance that outshines the norm.
8. If your child is happy, go with it. If your child goes from loving school to hating it, there is a problem. Don't wait for it to get better or wait to pull them because it "makes more sense to do it at the end of the year." When that love of learning is killed it is EXTREMELY hard to revive it. Follow their lead. Pay attention to their personality. Find a principal who still loves to learn. That is what has made our current school situation so wonderful. Our principal takes classes for fun (even after 30 years as a principal). If the administration loves to learn, they will "get" you child if you are willing to invest a little energy and time helping to educate them.
9. If your child is taking college courses, make sure that your child has help with the cultural/popular knowledge that is presumed in the class. Just because a program works today for your child, it may not work tomorrow. Always keep aware of new possibilities.
10. With this one I think I'm going to be sorry I waited for things to get better for him as he progressed thru our public schools. Hindsight doesn't always give the answers either - but I think he may have still had some joy for learning if I'd been able to actually do something about his complaints much earlier. Granted, maybe not -it does take some effort on his part also. I guess I'll just have to see where the cards fall & hope he comes thru it as the interesting adult he could be. I do hold onto a glimmer of hope after going thru some of the same w/my oldest (now 28).
11. Many public schools are simply not capable of challenging a highly gifted child. They have many demands on their resources for ADD kids, deaf kids, "retarded" kids, emotionally disturbed kids, and others that they'd rather leave the gifted ones to figure it out for themselves. Many schools are leery of accelerating kids because of concerns with social issues, much more important in institutional schools than in home schools. Many schools have to put so much effort into accountability (testing and teaching the test) that they don't have time to teach the average kids what they need to know, so the gifted ones get left behind. Home schooling or a combination of institutional school and home school can be a lifesaver for our kids. It lets them charge ahead at their own pace in subjects that really interest them and move on more slowly in those that challenge them without putting them in a classroom with much older kids whose interest in each other may be hormonally enhanced when the gifted child isn't ready for that yet. Don't keep banging your head against a system that's doing all it can just to survive. Your child comes first! Try home school, correspondence school, community college, part-time school - anything you can do to keep your children engaged and challenged. A highly gifted child who is continually bored is a child at risk for depression, dropping out, and even suicide.
12. Really check out the differences in private schools. Mainstream private schools are still very much schools. If your child is asynchronous, alternative schools such as Sudbury might be the ticket. The unschooly aspect may be frightening, but most kids will take on more of an autodidactic approach once they feel trusted to do so.
13. Think outside the box. Don't accept the school's options as your child's only choices. Support your child's interest in learning and help them to understand and accept the ways in which they differ from non-gifted peers. Learn about community resources (our public library lets homeschool parents have a "teacher" card, with higher book limits & access to additional materials; they will even pull selections on a topic submitted by fax). Network with parents of gifted children for the necessary "reality check." Help your child to network with children of similar interests and abilities. Make sure your child knows that you are on his/her side when things get frustrating.
14. The problem is funding for all the enrichment required for a gifted child. And time management.
15. Keep looking outside the box and consider your child, NOT what other typical parents do. Keep reading and educating yourself on the subject.
16. It is horrific. My child wants AGE PEERS who are DEVELOPMENTALLY like her. There is nothing out there that works for a kid like mine, nothing I've found, but we piece things together to make it work as well as possible. It seems like the teen years are super-challenging.
17. I get upset because "gifted programs" are sooo expensive- we just don't make that type of money- when we can get enrichment through the YMCA I will be happier.
18. As soon as it is apparent that a child is HG+, talk to the school system about alternative ways to meet their needs. The school may be open to allowing a child to participate in an on-line or distance learning program in lieu of grade-level instruction. And, for students who need to be grade-skipped, it's best to begin this early. It's a much easier matter to skip a 5 year old from Kindergarten to 1st grade than to skip a child from 6th to 7th grade - as the children get older, schools assume that the materials covered are "essential" and often balk at allowing a child to skip simply because the child will then not have been taught ALL of the material for whatever grade level they skip.
19. In hindsight, we should not have kept him in elementary school as long as we did. He was damaged mentally, emotionally, and physically. The fourth year of high school was probably also a mistake, but I could not imagine my small 11-year-old on a college campus. By the time he was 12, I knew he had to move on. Some good things we did were: 1. limit his high school class load to no more than 5 (out of a possible seven) classes; 2. not worry about his taking all the requirements for a high school diploma. He never got one and has never needed one. Officially, he is a high school dropout... who is a junior at the university at age 15.
20. As a stay-at-home-mom with child, I had more time than most to work with the school. I began my "crusade" for differentiation when my son was in kindergarten by doing volunteer work for the district GATE office to understand how the system worked. Then, I worked hard with the principal, district, and teachers to make sure my son started EPGY in first grade to replace his math work. First grade was important because once he started this alternative program, it's hard for the school to revoke it. Each April, I meet with the teachers who might teach him the next year to see if they're okay with this minor change it his curriculum (which is no work on their part). A lot of work for a minor accommodation -- but he otherwise wouldn't have gotten anything. Relying on the well-meaning but busy teachers wouldn't have gotten him anything. Even the better teachers in this highly rated school district (2 elementary schools are in top 5 in CA) can't challenge him. I started an after-school chess club, Math Olympiad Team, and GATE program. These are my son's favorite activities, and have 70, 60 and 20 students respectively. I'm glad I did it! Previously the only challenging activity available was Destination Imagination which is open to all children. Previously, GATE children only received lip-service. Even the new GATE program is worthless except to let the kids see that they aren't the only dis-enfranchised smart kids in the school. 20 hours a year? And we, the parents, pay for it. My son is still not challenged. Chess (#1 in school without trying), Math Olympiads (#1 in school without trying) and EPGY/CTY (which let him set the pace) don't teach him that dedication and hard work help him to his goal. If he learns to work a fraction as hard as some of the kids in his class, I'd be delighted. Piano has been the only challenging area for him. His teacher is demanding and treats him like an adult. She is also delightful and he likes her. This is a long-winded way to say that (IMHO) the public school system is unable and uninterested in meeting the needs of a highly gifted child.
21. Lisa Rivero's Book; Creative Home Schooling should be on every parent's (and educator's) bookshelf. She covers and addresses the differnt learning styles our kids have and how to meet them with different approaches.
22. I don't feel IQ scores tell the whole story. My son hasn't the highest IQ, but he seems to have more acceleration needs than other children we have met with much higher IQ. He also seems to study less than any person I have ever met. He likes his classes but really cares most about his social life. Without an appropriate social life he wilts, like an unwatered flower. He plays Ice-hocky, roller hockey, junior golf league, string bass in two different orchestras. In addition he has a rock band and is secretary of his college Society of Physics Students chapter.
23. I would say it is very important to speak to the principal as to his/her view on how gifted children are taught (going through views on all the different options, even the ones you are not yet considering). After the one grade skip, I thought others would be accepted as well ... or she would be open to other techniques - no - her mind was made up that since my son was not extroverted social, they had to wait until he was for other changes. We will be trying a not-for-profit private Montessori next year where they have served HG's in the past and likely are now. They believe in differentiation and allowing progress at the child's pace. Time will tell. This sounds like a good fit.
24. The worst you can do is *wait and see*. The child needs the best you can offer NOW. Staying in a program that isn't working by the 2nd week is a mistake. The result I've seen in gt is a lack of interest in learning and a child who no longer knows how to learn.
25. I.Q. Does not measure creativity and time management skills. Students who have above average IQs also perform at gifted levels. Schools need to provide education for students who do not fit the high IQ mold or the average to below average mold. Teachers need to be able to supply these students with less classroom chatter and give them independent studies on the material that is covered in the class. Deeper subject materials need to be assigned for these students.
26. Private school was inadequate (in one state where he attended) and promised to be (in the 5 other states I was looking upon relocation 2 years ago) for meeting the needs of this child. I was quite misled by some of the statements I read in the accepted literature on giftedness about the ability of private schools to deal with these kids!
27. Be flexible, try unusual options, and don't worry about planning more than a year at a time.
28. If there is a GOOD alternative option to a resistant public school, do NOT waste time trying to fight the "system". Just make the change.
29. Karen Rogers' book Re-forming Gifted Education has been very helpful in identifying options to suggest to the public school. Empowering Gifted Minds by Barbara Jackson Gilman is also helpful.
30. Hoagies provides a tremendous resource for information. Davidson Young Scholar's Program is also a great place for information on HG children. Keep all of your options open; consider private school, online schools, home schooling, moving to a public school that has a better understanding of HG kids. Feed the need.
31. The extreme asynchrony of EG/LD make school based education nearly impossible... UNLESS the school is very flexible. At the same time, these issues make homeschooling difficult, even with flexibility. Tutors are a must... yet we live 1 1/2 hours from the nearest community or 4 year college. Our town is only 9000. Rural EG homeschooling is somewhat of a challenge when the parent's areas of strength do not jive with the child. The internet and distance ed is a life saver! Ditto a good local library.
32. Institute of Educational Advancement has been great for us. Also testing at the Gifted Development Center. These are the two best things we have done. Putting a young child with much older students worried me but he really loved it and it worked out fine.
33. eimacs.com is the most wonderful math program!
34. Know a child's learning style, learning strengths, and weaknesses (LD's). With EG's be prepared to work at grade level in some areas, and waaaaaay above in others. Even with my hg/eg, a one or two year acceleration in academics would seem inappropriate for the way his brain soaks up information. IMHO, acceleration is not the answer for highly gifteds.
35. Don't be afraid to teach your child at home at his or her own level. Listen to your child and try to follow your child's lead. Use above-grade-level materials and don't make your child do every exercise unless it seems to be necessary to learn the material. Montessori programs can meet the needs of gifted students but vary widely - look carefully. A teacher who understands giftedness may do well with a gifted student, regardless of the rest of the school. If you can find such a teacher, try as hard as you can to get the child with that teacher.
36. Relationship is key to homeschooling. If you are struggling with your relationship with your child, I would caution you in choosing homeschooling. The intensity of HG kids can exacerbate an already strained relationship between parent and child. Also, both parents must agree to homeschool or the pressure will be too much on the teaching parent. Both the child and the teacher need to feel completely supported.
37. Follow your kid! Let him/her show you the best way to learn. Think of things you think might work and take a chance! Believe in your instincts--follow your gut. Don't compare your child to the norm or even to other PG kids. Each is unique; each has his/her own set of advantages and disadvantages. It will be a challenge! It will be exciting! It won't be easy!
38. Do not get co-opted by any public or private k - 12 school. Listen to your child. Follow their lead. Profoundly gifted kids without disabilities will "tell" you exactly what they need and want, not just academically, but socially, and in other areas as well.
39. Join e-mail lists for gifted children to learn of the materials that work well with highly gifted children. Read books about highly gifted children. For homeschooling, 2 good books are _And The Skylark Sings With Me_ by David Albert and _Creative Homeschooling_ by Lisa Rivero.
40. Get independent testing. Take to heart what your child is saying to you. Trust your judgement.
41. Networking with parents of other profoundly gifted kids has proved invaluable. We have found it hard to plan very far in advance, about a year or so at a time, because he changes so fast. My father-in-law is a retired professor and thinks our son has matured academically about 4 years in roughly 6 months based on the work we have shared with him. Being flexible has been key. Also being creative with trying to find learning opportunities that provide enough depth at an appropriate pace. Right now our struggle is that our son can grasp (almost intuit sometimes) concepts at a rather advanced level, but lacks the basic vocabulary in a given area. Right now we are going back to basic chem just to pick up terms because he reached a point in organic where this was causing a problem.
42. Even with having him in a gifted school - one needs to monitor closely, what he does and intervene. The transition from really happy to bored goes fast. Him being on the verge of ADHD he would really have trouble somewhere else (besides maybe at home)
    
43. Recognize early on that what may be an ideal fit for one semester or quarter may need to be tweaked or changed radically the next semester or quarter. Be flexible and creative with educational options and never underestimate what your child is capable of and when. Listen to your child and help make them their own advocate. Having a child that can clearly articulate his or her needs sometimes is the most effective method for getting accomodations.
44. Document first, use resources like Davidson Institute, then politely advocate, be patient and keep close tabs on your child. Lastly, no situation need be permanent. It will never be perfect...but, is any life situation?
45. I suspected in 5th grade that my son needed testing of some sort, but I did not know what, nor did I know what was available. I trusted the teachers when they said he had no special problems. If I could do it over again, I would question more, talk to other parents more. Most public school teachers are not trained in gifted education, let alone recognizing twice-exceptional children!
46. Don't allow a child to sit in a situation that is NOT a good fit. It could be emotionally damaging. You may have to change school situations often depending on age and needs. Just be VERY open minded.
47. We live in Pakistan, our son and daughter attend a private British curriculm school here. We're pretty happy with what they've done in accomodating our children. We'd otherwise have to homeschool if they didn't receive the added challenge that is offered. I believe it has much to do with the head teacher's experience with teaching gifted children earlier in her career.
48. We have learned (the hard way) to match the educational approach and resources to the child - NOT the other way around, and that has made all the difference. Keep an open mind. Flexibility is really important - along with carefully listening to your child. (Not just listening to what they say, but listening to the whole picture - behavior in/out of school settings, physical signals, emotional, behavioral, interests, etc. - everything. Our experience has been that there is no one answer - at least not one that lasts too long. The picture is always changing, and it's usually fairly complex. But, taking the time to really listen to it (and often) is critical. When we listened to our child, we could respond appropriately - when we (instead) listened to our own wishes, external opinions/forces/needs/abilities we were sunk. With these kids, you cannot be driven by what/how the school generally likes to teach, what the friends or extended family think your child's education SHOULD be like, or even what worked or didn't work for YOU. The child is NOT you, and their needs are likely NOT similar to other kids in the school or even in the family, and certainly not much like other kids in the proverbial neighborhood. It's often hard work educating these kids, but the magic of them is unbeatable.
49. Our younger child is very different from our older child, although both are EG/PG. We have found we have to keep a clean slate for the younger one, not assuming that what works for the older will be the right answer for the younger (or the reverse). We have to constantly remind ourselves to listen separately to their needs - and respond appropriately to each, regardless of outside pressures.
50. Please, listen to your perceptions of your child -- teachers don't always respond to a HG+ child with experience or understanding. His K teacher who labelled him "lazy" now sees our son as a hard-working child who has overcome a lot of difficulties and who understands way beyond what she imagined.
51. I can only say, learn as much as you can about giftedness, get your child tested earlier (we didn't have our daughter tested until she was 12) so you can get some idea of how gifted your child is, and advocate, advocate, advocate. We did not realize how gifted our daughter was when she was little...she was our first-born and we had no one to compare her to. My one regret is that I didn't look into giftedness when she started school in kindergarten...we could have gotten her a much better educational experience if we had. We naively believed teachers & administrators who said ours is a "world-class school district" and trusted the teachers to do what was best for our daughter. The district may be world-class, but its programs for and treatment of HG/EG/PG students is abysmal.
52. Look for people who can think outside the box!
53. Allow the child to follow their interests - they will amaze you at their ability to learn effortlessly when it is a subject they are interested in. Do not be afraid to do things differently than schools or traditional instructional plans - our kids are different and do best when allowed to work and learn in their own way.
    
54. Trust your instincts on your child's ability and try to learn as much as possible early on. If we had realized when he was 7 or 8, or even 9, how gifted he was, and if we had realized all the options (part time college, etc.) we might have pursued a very different path. Advocate, advocate, always.
    
55. The teacher's willingness to work with you and your child can be critical for success. Look at full time programs for highly gifted + kids if you want peers for a profoundly gifted child. (But peers alone do not make for a successful program.) Take it one year at a time. Realize multiple skips may be necessary, or may not be at all right for your child. Develop open lines of communication with your school (and switch schools if you can't!), and plan on advocacy for your child taking up a lot of your time! Be willing to change course and try new approaches.
56. If your child is highly asynchronous, you may find yourself having to make choices and advocate based on how you prioritize importance of school "fit" to meet social, emotional, physcial, behavioral and intellectual developmental levels. You and the school need to agree on the relative importance and be prepared to support those areas where the classroom is not a good fit. Re-evaluation of the situation at least annually is necessary, and constant advocacy is what it takes. Schools can drag their feet and meanwhile your child can be languishing.
57. I knew my son would not fit in a public or private school. I decided early to home school him though I had never considered it before, nor did I know anyone doing it. He was able to learn at his own pace with materials that worked for him (or for me!) We enjoyed learning. We spent a lot of time at the library...it was free. Some things he learned on his own through reading. Sometimes I found resources (e.g., map puzzles, certain software, etc.) that I gave to him to play with and he taught himself the material. I spent time looking for things in catalogs, going to curriculum fairs, and going to home school used book sales to find what suited us. It was a tailor-made education. Now most of his high school/college level work is done on his own.
58. Relax. Listen to the child, they know what they need and want, even from a very early age. Look out for danger signs of boredom, depression and anxiety. Look carefully for signs of learning disabilities as these are prevalent within the highly gifted population. You know your child best, educators in general do not. Many are well meaning but misguided or uninformed. Parents are experts and research backs this up. Allow the child to specialise early in areas of talent if they choose, rather than an across the board, shallow general education. There is plenty of time to explore lots of areas especially for accelerated learners. If a child is depressed or anxious, get counselling early. Provide opportunities for peer interaction across all ages that the child will exhibit -- chronological, mental, physical, emotional and social. Mentors are priceless. If a school or teacher tells you no, don't take no for an answer. Seek advice and keep your child's needs at the forefront of the action.
59. #1 message: Parents need to accept that they are homeschooling 24/7—whether they outsource a portion of that task to another school or not. #1 idea: start/join an adult support group with other parents with HG/PG and/or 2E children to share burden of finding, exploring, testing out educational options. #2 Boy/Girl scouts troops have built-in enrichment programs in their merit badge requirements. Mixed age troops can help with socialization issues, too.
60. No educational plan needs to be permanent. If your kid is unhappy with their schooling situation, its time to look for a change. If you are trying to work with a school, figure out what you want, and show them how to do it. They will be happy to find out that it's a simple thing they have to do to make you go away.
61. Just remember that you only get one childhood... and you shouldn't have to spend it locked in a classroom doing things you already know, or have no interest in!
    
    
    

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